Nobody wants a muffin...unless its with coffee
Cottage cheese,wobbly bits,muffin top etc. Whatever you call it I don’t know anyone women over the age of 18 that has not been plagued with one or more of these nasty little monsters (Yes, even supermodels have cellulite ladies they just get it airbrushed before they hit the runway)I’ve tried every cream, gel, procedure(Not lypo…I hear it just makes everything lumpy and from the look of Tera Reeds stomach…) Even those silly massages…Nothing makes it disappear. A diet rich in fiber, dark leafy green vegetables and lots and lots of water do help to break up and metabolize fat and of course working out and doing lots and lots of cardio <-MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!! and light weight-training definitely help too but sometimes no matter how much you work out when its time to go out on that date and you slip into that pencil skirt or you put on your skinny jeans and well there not looking so skinny…or my favorite…when your low rise jeans with your tucked in tank top and camel colored belt with the huge turquoise buckle looked super hot when you left the house and now you look like a muffin in an overfilled muffin tin…How in the hell did this happen!?? In times like these sexy little secrets are your friend. Yummy Tummy and SPANX to the rescue. There is no reason whatsoever to ever have VPL’s, muffin top or wobbly bits showing threw your skin tight Herve Leger dress. Nobody has to know that my perfectly sculpted body has a little help. Especially not my boyfriend. No ladies…this isn’t cheating it’s just flaunting your best assets, and putting your best foot forward because once your clothes are off all he’s focused on is your pot of gold and he could careless about your jiggle puff…Hell…my man likes a lot little bounce to the ounce (naughty laugh)
Don't YOU want a yummy tummy??
Yummy tummies are amazing!! They hold in everything and keep the girls tame as well. You can wear them under a sleek blouse or tank or by themself. The tummy sculpting is sexy and invisible and nobody will ever be the wiser and even though I don’t have any children I imagine these work wonders after that nine month hitchhiker has wreaked havoc on your tummy and you just want everything to be tight and taut, you wanna feel sexy… throw on your yummy tummy and WORK IT GIRL!!
Lil' gifts of spandex from God
SPANX SPANX SPANX!! There is nothing bad I can say about these amazing lil’ spandex creatures that fell down into my lap from the heavens above. Wither you just want to keep the booty from jiggling or the thighs from wobbling when you put on that skin tight dress or those pumps in a bump jeans or you want your tights to have extra support from the tips of your toes to your belly button then the tights version is for you. Don’t fall for the cheap imitations ladies…SPANX by, Sara Blakley are the only way to go. Definitely go for the smaller size but not so small they bulge and no matter who you are the outfit on top of the Spanx should never be so tight I can see your SPANX lines shining through. Hello… that would tell everyone your secret!!
So when in doubt throw on that Yummy Tummy or a pair of SPANX. The world will thank you, your man will thank you and you won’t end up on my hot mess page.
PS.If you’re worried about your man wondering why you have on a shield of spandex armour under your clothes when it’s rapidly approaching sexy time slip into the bathroom..peel those puppies off, slip them under his bathroom sink (d0n’t forget to pick them up before you leave in the morning) or in your purse if you didn’t forget it in the livingroom and he will never be the wiser. Trust me..I’ve done it numerous times!!
-Happy Conturing (or at least faking it)
Okay…for those in the fashion world who love these little go to stretchy miracles like I do have all witnessed the tragedy below. Yes these cute lil’ guys are the fashion go to on a fat day, skinny day, “lady” day, “I wanna look like I didn’t try too hard…but did” day….LEGGINGS!! So cute and so trendy but when done the wrong way there are always consequences.
What isn't wrong with this picture
You have your 100% Spandex leggings that are more for under dresses or a night out on the town with a cute shirt (these puppies can be see through and are usually seamless) so if you’re not covering your lady cakes I hope you have a smokin’ hot bod!!
Seamless, Sexy but can be see through (Forever 21)
You have the cotton/ spandex blend or 90%/10%polyester blend that offer a lot more coverage and can be worn as pants IF done correctly. These are my all time favorites. Personally if you want the best legging in the world…AMERICAN APPAREL! Yeah, they are a bit pricey compared to other leggings but they last forever, don’t start to unravel at the seam and have just the right amount of stretch so they don’t bunch at the knee or become see through when they hit the light. They are also so great for droppin’ it like its hot on the dance floor…trust me…I’ve tried!
*Remember ladies* Although a lot of us have upgraded from the thong to boy shorts, micro fiber seamless briefs or lacy french cuts when donning a pair of these thongs are the only way to go…unless you’re a fan of going commando!
American Apparel 8328 Cotton Spandex Jersey Legging