Is sexual addiction real or America’s new excuse??

It’s in the news, movies and constantly a headline on Sports Center…SEX ADDICTION. Actors, Athletes even a guy I used to date used it as his excuse for being a lying porn addicted cheater. So the question remains is Sex addiction real or just an acceptable excuse for men (and some women) to excuse their cheating ways. Wikipedia defines sex addiction as:

The phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behavior. It has also been called “sexual dependency,” and “sexual compulsivity.” The existence of the condition is not universally accepted by sexologist and its etiology, nature, and validity have been debated.

Is it real or is it fake?? Here’s my take on it…Sexual Addiction to me is a huge bunch of BS. Not being one to disregard addiction or the fact that some people are dealing with real addictions that need rehab and therapy to conquer…I DO NOT believe sex is one of them! More often than not we don’t hear of men having this so-called “sexual addiction” until AFTER they cheat and their spouse, girlfriend or partner finds out. In the past men who slept with numerous women got a pat on the back and a high five in the locker room. Why? Because society says its more than acceptable for men to have multiple partners. Why? Because that’s just how there wired…men are designed to sow their oats. WOMP WOMP WOMP!! To me that is a huge crock of bulls**t! In no way is it acceptable for any person to cheat on their partner and then once caught they go running and screaming into SEXUAL REHAB at some posh wilderness retreat with 52 inch televisions, swimming pools and gourmet meals that costs upwards of  fifteen thousand dollars for 4 weeks of “treatment”. Treatment my ass. If you love and respect your partner you won’t cheat on them and then if you do MAN UP, take ownership for your actions and stop making excuses. A professor once said “Excuses are like assh**es, everyone has one but they all stink!” I have no respect for people who refuse to take ownership for their actions.

In the celebrity world these men have women on tap. You can order a girl up to your room like room service. Pick the hair color, eye color, cup size etc. When you have everything at your fingertips and nobody EVER tells you no, why would you commit to one women?  Nobody is forcing you to and the majority of the women out here would compromise there morals to be on the arm of a celebrity, athlete, musician etc. They accept infidelity,  loneliness and neglect just to name a few purely for the ‘privilege’ of being on the arm of that person and it usually takes years before someone leaves or they have to suffer a huge deal of public embarrassment and scandal to finally realize they are worth more than that.

So is sexual addiction real or just an excuse to be a bonified HOE?? I’m going to have to vote for the latter. Allow your ‘man’ to sleep with all the women he wants, slip up, get caught then attend sex rehab make a public apology shed a tear or two buy you something nice a sparkly and all is forgiven. Or go bat shit crazy on his ass, Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale style pack your things (and some of his) and bounce. Taking with you what is left of your dignity and self-respect. Once again, I’m voting for the latter. Why stay with a cheater, you can do bad by yourself. So for all the Sandra Bullocks, Shaunie O’Neals and Juanita Jordans who had the courage to tell their men to take his cheating ways and shove it I applaud you…for the rest of y’all “Honey it ain’t no addiction, ol’ boy is just a hoe, you deserve better and he is NOT going to change!!”

So, in the words of Beyonce…”to the left…to the left”

Elin...He has not changed!!

And to the one who said “I think I have a sex addiction” AFTER I found out you had a whole secret relationship in another state (as if that would’ve made your actions okay?)…I may have been born at night but I wasn’t born last night…How dumb do you REALLY think I am?? ….On to the next one!!

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Vibrators…Dildos…TOYS…OH MY!!!

Uhhhh Fido...where did you get that??

Ok…where do we start??  Mom & Dad if you happen to stumble upon this **SURPRISE** I’m not a virgin anymore. (I know, I know ya probably didn’t wanna find out until after I was married and told you, you were going to be grand-parents but this is way better. To find out on the internet… in my own words…RIGHT?? I mean at least it was from me and not in the form of a sex tape…ala Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton.  As a twentysomething who has yet to hit her sexual peak (Man, I can’t wait till my thirty somethings)  I find that more often than not in conversation with my friends the topic of toys come up. Do you use them? Would you use them? Where do you buy them? Can you use them in bed with your MAN? And for some odd reason…I usually have all the answers to these questions. Yes, toys are a tad taboo but let me get this straight for all the men out there who always wonder: Do toys mean I’m not good enough?? NO NO did I mention NO?? Toys are amazing, fantastic, brillilant little balls of pleasure and greatness!! Alone as well as with your partner. Sometimes a toy can brighten a dull moment, enhance an already heightened one or help you discover that “oooo weeee” spot you never even knew existed.  Personally I’m a big fan of toys that vibrate…I mean who wants to do any work (especially when you’re alone)? I just wanna get there and go to bed since I usually have class in the morning. On the contrary I’ve had some of the most fun with my Man and a new battery operated friend…its kinda like a threesome but NOT. Amongst friends my favorite gift to give is usually something fun from Good Vibrations. If you’re in the bay area or close to it I like to encourage going in there and just browsing, asking questions and seeing what they have to offer. It’s not one of those sleazy sex shops its more like a sex toy boutique. It’s cute, spacious and in the Valencia branch you can even sit on the comfy cushions and browse the sex books. Almost everything they carry is already out of the box somewhere in the store so you can touch, turn on, read and even rent porn (I’m not sure who pays for porn anymore but that’s a different blog for a totally different day.) But if you’re crazy shy or embarrassed  you can always order online  http://www.goodvibes.com

 

"When the mans away...the girl will play"

If all else fails and your modesty gets the best of you, those little 3 prong  vibrating “back massagers” that are sold by the register at Walgreens work pretty darn good too…**cough cough** not like I’ve tried them or anything.

PS. Mom and Dad I hope you don’t hate me and Daddy…I’m still your Princess!!

Basketball “Wives”

So lets start out with a rousing…Womp Womp WOMP!! I am a reality TV junkie and PROUD OF IT but this follywang is absolutely ridiculous. First and foremost how is a show going to be called basketball wives when only two of the six of these trifilin’ chicks are married and the executive producer (Shaunie O’neal) has recently filed for divorce…so I feel this show should be called…”Basketball Bed-warmers”  I mean…sorry honey ya can’t call yourself a wife without a marriage license and certificate!! You have six women all with varied degrees of cosmetic surgery, enhancements etc. all living that hard “I use to be a baller but now I’m broke life”  who have realized they can get 15 more seconds of fame as well as a lil cash to air their dirty laundry so they signed on. Yeah its trashy, yeah its low-budget and yeah i’ll be tuning in to VH1 on Sunday nights at 10pm.

"If he liked it then he would've put a ring on it."

Shout out to all the real baller WIVES who have class and pride and refuse to air there dirty laundry for a lil’ pay day & an extra special shout out to the one’s  I consider the only true “Basketball Wives” Ms.Juanita Jordan, Mrs.Tamia Hill and Mrs.Cookie Johnson. Ya’ll need to school these chicks on how to keep the man and if you can’t keep him make him pay…

CHA CHING…CHING…CHING….I know Juanita’s still laughing every time she goes into the bank.

http://www.lawyersandsettlements.com/case/michael-jordan-divorce.html

Leggings…Tights…SPANDEX!!

Okay…for those in the fashion world who love these little go to stretchy miracles like I do have all witnessed the tragedy below. Yes these cute lil’ guys are the fashion go to on a fat day, skinny day, “lady” day, “I wanna look like I didn’t try too hard…but did” day….LEGGINGS!! So cute and so trendy but when done the wrong way there are always consequences.

What isn't wrong with this picture

You have your 100% Spandex leggings that are more for under dresses or a night out on the town with a cute shirt (these puppies can be see through and are usually seamless) so if you’re not covering your lady cakes I hope you have a smokin’ hot bod!!

Seamless, Sexy but can be see through (Forever 21)

You have the cotton/ spandex blend  or 90%/10%polyester blend that offer a lot more coverage and can be worn as pants IF done correctly. These are my all time favorites. Personally if you want the best legging in the world…AMERICAN APPAREL! Yeah, they are a bit pricey compared to other leggings but they last forever, don’t start to unravel at the seam and have just the right amount of stretch so they don’t bunch at the knee or become see through when they hit the light. They are also so great for droppin’ it like its hot on the dance floor…trust me…I’ve tried!

*Remember ladies* Although a lot of us have upgraded from the thong to boy shorts, micro fiber seamless briefs or lacy french cuts when donning a pair of these thongs are the only way to go…unless you’re a fan of going commando!

American Apparel 8328 Cotton Spandex Jersey Legging